I Grew a Plant Today
I grew a plant today, from seed to medicine. The plant taught me resistance, strength, compassion, and restraint. It taught me you can fail over and over again, and yet you aren't a failure. You can still be something of value. It taught me unlike the pills or the talk therapy, that I have my own power to sit in my darkness for as long as it takes to make peace with my darkness. It taught me out of darkness something magnificent can grow even in the darkest of hours. I grew a plant it taught me to forgive myself for I've never done this.
I grew a plant today, family would be concerned, some more avoidant of me, some might accept my plant and I. But their acceptance doesn't heal me, the medicine does. The job wouldn't care for the notion either for no other reason than fear, the plant quells the anxiety, calms the nerves when the inner child is screaming run. Clears the brain fog of all the bullshit I survived to do their meaningless, purposeless, hollow work. I grew a plant today, the Government would hate it looks like individuation, reeks of self belief, and empowerment as sat dormant in the halls of our lawmakers for no other reason than greed. I grew a plant today, it didn't make them money, the drug pushers, the dealers that create them and thus they'd not like it. I grew a plant today because alcohol had me reckless and spiraling. I grew a plant today because I share my wounds and people say "he needs Jesus or therapy," no I just needed to grow a plant and sit with the Inner Child that was never heard, that was never loved, that never learned boundaries or how to handle his emotions beyond repressing them. I grew a plant today, knowing all of the risks that could befall me, because I dually am the only one to know the risks if I didn't.
I grew a plant today, because the alternatives were killing me. I grew a plant it taught me to forgive myself for I've never done this, we were all just a seedling trying to find it's way.